Unfortunately, I had to put a formal end to my psychological counseling this week for a couple of practical reasons though both my counselor and I feel that it's still premature. It was simply a pleasure and privilege to meet once a week and work with this truly amazing counselor for about four months. He has helped me embark on a never-ending arduous voyage of self-discovery and self-reconciliation, which I could not have undertaken alone.
The most significant discovery I've made about myself is that I'm a highly emotional person but suppress my emotions with my mind, and they erupt suddenly when they become too strong to control because of unbearable stress or frustration in interpersonal relationships, which in turn leads to some socially unacceptable behavior on my part. So my main task is to bridge my mind and emotions. It's so complicated and demanding that I'd probably have to spend a lot of time, even my whole life, to accomplish it, especially if I'm to work alone. I only hope, however, that my counselor has shown me the right direction I should follow and given me a compass for staying on this winding path.
This precious experience has had a number of positive effects on me. The most significant of all, on which my counselor also agreed, is without doubt that it has enabled me to get rid of deep scars that remained in my heart for the past five years and prepare myself for new significant encounters. And to my great surprise and joy, I did have such a significant encounter totally unexpectedly in the middle of these four-month period! This has shown me again anew that truly significant encounters in life occur when we don't look for them but simply become ready for and attract them, so to speak.
This amazing counselor-cum-rabbi also offers counseling in another, no less important area of life, which still remains terra incognita for me. I hope I'll also be able to receive this counseling of his in this new area in the near future.