How to Relate to People in a Total Dream State

The majority of human beings are in different degrees of a dream state in that we are identified with our (egoic) thoughts not only about other human beings and the world but also about ourselves. If someone is not only identified with their thoughts but also is unware of this fact, they are in a total dream state.

It's almost a miracle that I woke up from such a total dream state. I can't say yet that I've fully woken up as I still find from time to time how my egoic thoughts try to hijack me. But I can at least identify these attempts and am mostly successful to neutralize them. So unlike before I don't identify myself with this very thought in this blog entry.

A new, no less easy, challenge I've started to face is how to relate to people in a total dream state. The greatest difficulty with them is that I can't make them become aware of what they are unware of by verbal explanations. I encounter the same difficulty in other areas of the so-called unknown of the unknown.

I still wish every once in a while I could become a hermit in some secluded place, but ascetism is not part of Judaism and I can fully understand why - this way we'll deprive ourselves of one of the most precious opportunities for learning and growth.

This understanding doesn't always help me cope with those in a total dream state, especially when they verbalize their thoughts about me by confusing the "book" and the "story" with the "author" and labeling me accordingly. I've noticed that I encounter these people more and more frequently, which must mean that this is an important life challenge I have to cope with for my growth. But recently I've decided to stop trying to explain to them that they are in a total dream state as I've realized that this is totally futile, thus a waste of time.

What perplexes me is that though I'm aware that I'm the "author" (soul) and neither the "book" (body) nor the "story" (life), I'm still bothered by attempts by those in a total dream to label me according these two illusory equations. I'm not sure yet who in me is bothered, but the fact remains that I'm bothered.

I'm still hoping to meet some day at least one person who shares the same "language". One thing I already know for sure is that being frum is no guarantee. I've met so many frum people - probably the majority - who are in a total dream state.

What Is Left of Professional Occupation with Languages and Linguistics

Since I was a child, I have always loved books (and reading). Since I found Hasidism about four and a half years ago and decided to leave academia, a fundamental change has occurred in the kinds of physical books I buy (and read). Of all the physical books (about 450) I've bought in the past four and a half years most concern Chabad Hasidism (about 400).

I live in a relatively small apartment, at least in Israeli terms, so I have a rather limited space for my physical books - I can hold up to about 600 and 900 books in the active and "dead" sections of my personal library in the living room and the bed room respectively.

When I started buying Chabad Hasidic books, my library was already full, so I had to get rid of existing books to make room - I have physically discarded all the volumes of the academic journals I used to subscribe to and left quite a few academic books on languages and linguistics as well as almost all the academic studies of Judaism on the street, hoping they would find new "foster parents".

The most visible change in the past four and a half years has been how more and more books on languages and linguistics have "receded", as it were, from the active to the "dead" section of my library, until I could leave only one shelf (for about 30 books) - in adition to about 100 dictionaries in five languages I still use actively - for what had occupied me professionally for about 30 years since I officially left academia nearly two years ago. These 30 books are practical pedagogical materials for advanced learners of Russian, which means that what is left of my professional occupation with languages and linguistics is the practical study of Russian.

There are four languages I'm truly grateful for having studied - Hebrew, Yiddish, English, and Russian. I use Hebrew and Yiddish for acquiring wisdom, especially in Chabad Hasidism now, English for knowledge and information, and Russian for emotional joy. (And of the other languages I spent many years in learning I find neither interest in nor use for at least two languages - Arabic and Esperanto.)

Russian has been my most beloved language for the past 30 years or so (Hebrew and Yiddish have such an integral part of my life that they are simply beyond love). My "love affair" with Russian started a few years after I started learning it when I was still a PhD student in Hebrew linguistics at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

I started to fall in love with Russian paradoxically after I got divorced from a native speaker of Russian. This renewed "love affair" of mine with Russian had nothing to do with nostalgia as I didn't use Russian with her. When I accidentally discovered that I felt such enormous emotional joy in using Russian, whether passively or actively, I resumed my systematic study of what I consider the most beautiful language on this planet.

I still don't understand why I feel such emotional joy in Russian except for its "external" beauty, that is, its sounds. It may сщьу from my emotional attachment to (rich) Russian culture, which I'm reminded of every time I use Russian. And of all the countries I've visited as a tourist I felt most comfortable in Russia, at least in Moscow.

Recently I've found an additional pleasure in my continued study of Russian - reading Chabad Hasidic books in Russian translation (in parallel with their Hebrew or English originals - I have about 50 such Russian translations so far. I'm especially grateful to a unique bookstore in Jerusalem that specializes in Chabad Hasidic books in Russian - Яхад.

Visiting the Tomb of Rabbi Isaac Luria in Safed

Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm very sensitive to the energy, especially the negative one, of people and surroundings. I easily absorb it and may transmit it to others in turn. It was only a few years ago that I became aware of this sensitivity of mine. Several months ago I started to work on this in order to protect myself from the negative energy of people, especially when they speak or behave negatively.

I've started detoxing the accumulated negative energy once a week by spending the last hour before the end of Sabbath by secluding myself in nature. Recently I felt that the negative energy I had absorbed reached my limit, so I was looking for some one-time solution to detox it more fundementally.

Last week I had two signs showing that I should visit the tomb of Rabbi Isaac Luria (also known as "Haari"), who is considered the greatest Kabbalist in them middle ages, in Safed. I always (like to) plan trips well in advance, but this time I improvised a two-day trip to Safed to visit his tomb, hoping that not only the visit itself but other chance encounters in this trip would help me detox the accumulated negative energy.

I reserved a hotel room this Tuesday, went on a 4.5-hour trip the day before yesterday from my apartment on Haari (!) St. in Jerusalem to Safed, and returned here yesterday. I also decided to stay away from news and social media in order to maximize the benefit of this trip.

Upon my arrival in Safed I headed for the Old Cemetery of the city, where Haari is buried. I only checked the place then in preparation for my revisit on the early morning of the following day. As I had expected, there were too many visitors in the afternoon. When I revisided Haari's tomb at the sunrise, I was the only visitor as I had hoped.

There was a sign near his tomb asking all the visitors to follow my commandment when they pray there. I did follow it during my solitary prayer there and decide to do my best to continue to follow it afterwards.

One of the greatest pleasures of any trip for me is to meeting local people "by chance". I was hoping this time that my visit to Haari's tomb and my preparation for it might help me attract people with higher spiritual frequency that I usually encounter. I was right, and the two people I "attracted" far surpassed my expectation.

One is the owner of a Jewish bookstore in the Old City of Safed. I've never entered any other bookstore matching my interest so much as this one - it was full of Chabad books not only Hebrew and English but also in Russian, French and Spanish. It didn't take me long to discover that we have several common acquaintances.

While waiting for my bus at the central bus station of Safed, one woman in my age approached me and started to speak to me in Russian, presumably seeing one of my shoulder bags with contents in Russian. We had a very short conversation in Russian on Kabbalah books in general and her Russian translations in particular. It was a pleasant surprise to see that my spoken Russian had improved, perhaps thanks to my continued daily study of reading aloud Russian texts on Chabad Chassidus and Russian culture. After my return to Jerusalem I checked her website as she had asked me to and found she is not only a translator but also a prolific writer on Kabbalah and Chabad Chassidus.

In short I "attracted" two amazing people in Safed who are closely related to Chabad! Speaking with each of them for several minutes was even enough for me to be affected profoundly. Their presence mattered no less than their spoken words.

Hoping that my visit to Haari's tomb and "chance" encounters would raise the level of my consciousness, I had planned to read on my way back to Jerusalem one profound but difficult teaching by Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh, who is the teacher of some of my Chabad teachers in Jerusalem. It concerns what I consider one of the most important topic in the teachings of Chabad Chassidus - faith and confidence. I was right. This time I could understand this teaching not only conceptually but also, hopefully, non-conceptually. I had to come all the way to the tomb of Isaac Luria in Safed to better understand this important teaching, which will accompany me the rest of my life as my lamplight.

The most important thing I've learned from this trip is my decision to start following one interpersonal commandment written near the tomb as a request for its visitors. It didn't take me long to see its positive effect upon me. When I went out for shopping in preparation for Sabbath, I was surprised to see how my attitude to other people, including strangers, had fundementally changed for the better!

I saw so clearly what the Book of Proverbs says - כמים הפנים לפנים כן לב האדם לאדם 'As water reflects a face [back] to the face [that looks into it], so does the heart of a person [reflect his feelings] to a person [who faces him]', that is, "One who looks into water will see his own face, as in a mirror, and every distortion of his features, whether due to affection or anger, will appear there. Similarly, one's heart reflects back the feelings of another, as a person treats a friend in the same manner in which he is treated by his friend." (commentary by Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz)

Parallel Traps of the Ego and the Mainstream Media

I'm still surprised myself (and feel grateful) that I realized that I and my life had been totally hijacked by the ego until it caused me unbearable suffering and I started to wake up. It was about four and a half years ago. I can't say yet that I've fully awakened, but I can at least notice every time the ego tries to control me, especially my mind, and my life.

Any problem is at its worst when you are unware that you have a problem. Many people, including myself until I started to wake up, seem unaware that they are deeply trapped in the prison of their egoic mind. Nevertheless they continue this life as prisoners of their own egoic mind as their egos haven't given them a fatal blow and made them hit the rock bottom, which in turn gives the egos a fatal blow.

I feel I'm waking up for the first time from the mental prison of the mainstream media in what I consider the most belligerent country in the world and its allies. Several months ago I started to question their narrative and check several conscientious investigative journalists in these countries themselves.

These courageous people, who are often ignored and even silenced in the mainstream media outlets in their own countries, have shown me that I had been totally brainwashed by these media outlets. I've stopped checking mainstream broadcasts, newspapers and newsmagazines in these countried as I've completely lost my trust in them.

Probably the biggest discovery in this process of waking up is that these countries and their mainstream media have been unfairly demonizing quite a few countries and their respective leaders. At least two countries are being demonized in the real time. Naturally, those who only consume such media outlets also demonize these countries and their leaders blindly without actually checking their respective narratives in their originals.

When I recently started to check a few state-owned media outlets in one of these two demozined countries with utmost caution, I was surprised to discover soon that its narrative matches what the above mentioned investigative journalists in the countries that demonize it and sounds far more convincing.

The very fact that some of the state-owned media outlets of this country are censored by those that demonize it (but the former doesn't reciprocate by censuring the latter) paradoxically gives additional credibility to the former and its narrative as it's inconvenient to the latter in brainwashing those who are challenged in their media literacy.

It didn't take me long to notice paralles between those who are trapped in their egoic mind and those who are trapped in the narrative of certain mainstread media outlets. Just as I can't convince that former that they are prisoners, so can't I convince the latter that they are prisoners.