Let's suppose you've found some hidden precious gem which you thought was far beyond your reach but you also know that keeping it with yourself requires tribulation on your part. Would you dare to pick it up? You can decide either to evade that tribulation simply by ignoring that precious gem or to pick it up and face the tribulation. I've decided to opt for the latter simply because the gem seemed (and still seems) so precious.
The fact that this newly found hidden gem is so precious to me doesn't make the tribulation I've already started experiencing much easier in particular, to say the least. My tribulation is twofold - physical and temporal.
I'm physically tormented because after I enjoyed my initial touch of the gem, it had to be at a distant place, so I'll be able to touch it only very infrequently. This gem is a "fresh" one that deserves an equally "fresh" owner, and I've started being tormented by the question if I'm "fresh" enough to keep savoring it.
This new tribulation doesn't allow me to sleep. But I've already learned a lesson that He doesn't allow me to pass any important stage of life very easily. I try to take this as a kind of compliment. ;-) I've already experienced more difficult tribulations, so hopefully I'll also get over this one successfully. Wish me good luck. ;-)