Arrogance as My Possible Most Fundamental Character Defect

Having worked through the first eight steps of the so-called 12-step program for restoring spiritual sobriety, I've discovered with a shock but with near certainty that one very specific type of arrogance seems to have been my most fundamental character defect that can also explain other character defects of mine as its derivatives and has destroyed many of my interpersonal relationships.

It has also become evident beyond any doubt that this arrogance of mine was - and probably still is, at least unconsciously - directed toward a certain group of people with its rather distinct subgroups. Arrogance produces deep resentments. And these resentments at these people must also have been blocking me.

The person who helped me discover this fundamental character defect of mine strongly advised me to make direct amends with them as a group or subgroups by reaching out for at least some of them as individuals. I still don't know how to do so. The period between Rosh Hashana, which will start this evening, and Yom Kippur, seems be a perfect time to start this long due process of atonement like cleaning a clogged sink.

Old-New Joy of Russian

As I'm leaving my tenure in less than one month, which is ten years before the age of the retirement, of my own free will, I've been reflecting on this long chapter of my life as a professional linguist.

Since my childhood I've always been interested in learning (modern) languages (and cultures) and I've been more or less good at this, at least in comparison with other learners. I'm realizing that practical study of languages and their academic study are two totally different things. I've totally lost in my interest in the latter, but I'm also realizing that I'm still interested in learning certain languages. Russian is one of these languages.

It was in the academic year 1989/1990, or my second year as a PhD student at the Hebrew University, that I formally studied Russian. Actually, before moving to Jerusalem I tried in vain to learn Russian a number of times back in Japan both by myself and in a university course. It's mostly thanks to our Russian teacher in Jerusalem and her excellent textbook that I could acquire the basics of this notoriously difficult language.

Since then I continued to learn Russian on and off by myself, investing time and energy in its study more than in any other language except for Hebrew, in which I specialized as a professional linguist. I know Yiddish and Esperanto much better though I've invested in their study far less time and energy.

I "rediscovered" this old-new joy of Russian when I stumbled upon some Russian TV drama with English subtitles on YouTube some time ago when I was still suffering from the pain of divorce from someone whose mother tongue happened to be Russian. Then my interest in Russian and its practical study was rekindled, but this has nothing to do with nostalgia. I simply love this language, and it simply makes be happy to hear its sounds and pronounce them for myself.

I have no practical benefit for my renewed study of Russian, perhaps except during my possible visit to Moscow, hopefully next summer on my way to Japan. As I dedicate about one hour every weekday to the formal practical study of Russian and immerse myself in this language by listening to live broadcasts and podcasts and reading newspapers and newsmagazines these days, I recall - and even reexperience - the enthusiasm I felt when I still used to spend hours every day studying various languages in my twenties.

PS: The following is a more or less exhaustive list of broadcasts, newspapers and newsmagazines I regularly check in Russian:

• Дождь
• Эхо Москвы
• Газета
• Новое Время
• Москвич
• Еврейский Журнал
• Лехаим