What are the characteristics of the rat race?
- An inordinate emphasis on external matters - good looks, wealth, power, popularity, fame.
- A profound feeling that life is a great competition, that we must not allow ourselves to fall behind.
- An acceptance of standards set by others; a drive toward conformity even at the rist of betraying our freedom to make responsible choices.
- [...]
- A realization at some point and on some level that the rat race is ultimately meaningless. What have I achieved by "winning"? Has "success" brought me real happiness?
- Rabbi Mark Angel (Losing the Rat Race, Winning at Life)
I think I can see clearly by now why I've completely lost my interest in academia and decided to leave it. Even if you start your academic career with pure love of study, you'll find yourself sooner or later forced to join the rat race. Some people might also realize that the seemingly paradoxical but best way of winning at life is by losing the rat race. Nevertheless not many people dare to actually leave their rat race. I had to experience the so-called dark night of the soul to take the courage to leave my rat race in academia.
I would characterize competition in academia as that for cognitive intelligence. I've also come to realize that high cognitive intelligence is not the most important type of intelligence for true success in life - accomplishing our spiritual mission in our respective physical body in this world. What is far more important for this purpose is to cultivate our spiritual intelligence, or life wisdom to use a simple expression.
We have the following four types of people in terms of the combination of cognitive intelligence and life wisdom:
- Unintelligent and unwise people
- Unintelligent but wise people
- Intelligent but unwise people
- Intelligent and wise people
The ideal type would be the fourth. But if I'm asked whichi I prefer, the second or the third, I wouldn't hesitate now that I'd prefer the second. And the third is even worse than the first in a sense.
Of course, I'm not saying that there aren't many intelligent people in academia who are also wise. I've met enough, and I still wonder how they could find time and energy to cultivate their life wisdom in their hective academic schedule.
By continuing your academic rat race you run the risk of equating "success" in the competition for cognitive intelligence, especially in the form of the number of cited articles in peer-reviewed journals, with your life purpose.
It was only I started to experience my own share of the dark night of the sould that I could stop to think for the first time in my academic life what I had been doing for all those years. It didn't take me long to conclude that this competition is absolutely meaningless for me and I'd prefer spending my precious time and energy for increasing my life wisdom.
I've been extremely lucky to have encountered Chabad Chassidus for this purpose. I've been learning, both directly through formal and private study and indirectly by observing Chabad rabbis, how to use intellect to cultivate spiritual intelligence. Having been immpersed in such an environment for about three years by now, I simply can't read most academic studies of Judaism, which are fundementally different in their approach and aftereffects from traditional study of the Torah in general and Chabad Chassidus in particular.