One of the top priorities in my interpersonal relationships is to develop immunity against both lack of sensitivity and lack of vitality. I had some illusory hope that I had stopped being too sensitive to both of them, but I've seen so clearly rather recently that I still suffer from them though in two different ways.
What happens to me when I encounter lack of sensitivity at both individual and collective levels is that actually, I cause mental suffering through my negative mental interpretations and reactions. My reactions to lack of vitality in individuals and social collectives are more physical than mental. I simply feel that my energy has been depleted.
When I suffered from lack of vitality, I told myself that I would prefer lack of sensitivity. But once I found myself in a different environment where lack of sensitivity was the dominant collective characteristic, I told myself that I would prefer lack of vitality. And this repeats itself again and again. I fluctuate between the two as the lesser of the two evils.
Others are actually nothing but mirrors reflecting our inner self. I may encounter (what I interpret as) insensitive or negative people as ways to work on my own character traits. I can change neither them nor their speech and action. I can only change myself. Developing immunity agains both lack of sensitivity and lack of vitality is an urgent task I have to undertake now, but I still don't know how.
In principle, I like to interact verbally with others, but I sometimes feel like spending the rest of my life or at least a few years in a secluded place either alone or with some like-minded life companion though I know this idea is un-Jewish.