Since I left Jerusalem at the end of September after living there for about 24 years in total, I've been asking myself if I can return there to live there after completing the present personal mission somewhere in the diaspora. I'm becoming more and more pessimistic about this possibility.
The main reason for this is a practical one - money. To be more precise, I'm afraid that the monthly pension I'm supposed to receive from the age of 67 from my personal pension fund through my former employer isn't enough to live in Jerusalem, especially in the same neighborhood where I lived for 19 years.
At least in relative terms my monthly pension isn't bad at all, especially in view of the fact that I only worked for 16 years in the university without waiting for the official retirement age. For this I'm grateful to my former emplorer. Right before I left Israel I was shocked to discover that the husband of someone I studied with 30 years ago worked as a doctor in a hospital for about 35 years and will receive more or less the same amount as I.
In addition to this "negative" reason, so to speak, I also have one "positive" reason for not returning to Jerusalem and spend the last chapter of my life in the present reincarnation there. I feel that I've already realized the dream of living in Jerusalem - the dream I started to have after spending five years as a PhD student at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. It took me about ten years to return to Jerusalem. There is one city I've been dreaming of living in.
Actually, I made a short visit to this "dream city" of mine at the beginning of July before leaving Jerusalem. I wanted to check how I would feel there after six years of absence. I also wanted to make sure that I hadn't been idealizing the city. To make a long story short, I fell in love with the city anew. On the one hand, I enjoyed every moment I spent there, but on the other hand, I was so sad as I couldn't remain there as I already knew I had to go on my personal mission somewhere else.
Anyway, I'm more and more inclined to this option of trying something Iv'e never trying. I also have a few other reasons for wanting to try this option, but they are too complicated and too personal to share with you here.