For many years I've found myself in two opposing situations, wondering why so many keep silent on the one hand, and why so many people don't keep silent on the other. Last week I suddenly recognized two types of silence stemming from two fundamentally different sources. They may seem the same externally, but if you are sensitive enough, you'll feel they emit totally different vibes.
The first type of silence stems from the ego. It's the type of silence that occurs when you owe someone else gratitude or an apology. This is more than just a matter of good manners. By remaining silent, you continue adding dirt to the channel through which blessings from the Universe reach your internal "vessel".
Since I realized this some time ago, I've stopped feeling frustrated with the bad manners of such people and started feeling sorry for them, as they are depriving themselves of this precious opportunity to prepare this "vessel".
The second type of silence stems from the soul. It's the type of silence that occurs when you realize the powerlessness of language and all you can offer is presence though many people seem to prefer speech to silence in this context, without realizing that the more you speak, the more you distance yourself from the person you want to connect with. There are contexts in which silence is more eloquent than speech.
Since I realized an aspect of language I had never been taught - even as a student of linguistics - as the gatekeeper of the egoic mind, I've stopped asking questions to collect materials for labeling those I speak to, especially when I meet them for the first time. I simply try to sense their vibe in silence. I've experienced again and again how visibly the attitude of those who "investigate" me changes as they know more about me, or more of my life stories.
Though I accept the speech of so many people in this context, I myself refrain from asking the same type of questions and remain silent. I've even found an ultimate answer to put an end to the most common starter of this "investigation". When someone I meet for the first time asks me, "Where are you from?" I answer them, "I'm always here and now." ;-)
As I may have written before, I experienced the powerlessness of speech and the power of silence when I saw someone I had known for many years - but had never had the chance to talk to from heart to heart - sitting alone on a bench outside about two years ago back in Jerusalem. When I understood that she had been diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer, I instinctively felt any kind of speech would be totally out of place. I simply hugged her and kissed her forehead, then just remained with her on the same bench for about half an hour, holding her hands in silence.
I'm "transplanting" this important lesson into a new area. Since I live in near social isolation in this new place, especially Jewish-wise, I've found a new "minyan" - dogs, flowers, and leaves. I greet them in language (Russian, by chance), then caress them in silence. They never ask questions to label me afterwards. They remain silent instead. They have taught me when to speak and when to keep silent. I'm "exporting" this to my interactions with fellow two-legged animals. If I organize a special tour to take live lessons from dogs, flowers, and leaves, will you join me? ;-)