Steve Taylor is one of the few authors whose books have truly helped me navigate in what I now know as "transformation through turmoil" (TTT) thanks to his new book entitled Extraordinary Awakenings: When Trauma Leads to Transformation.
I first got acquainted with him and his work through Eckhart Tolle right after my "turmoil" started nearly four years ago. Since then I've read all his books, which are focused on the individual and collective egos of humans.
His books have given me a clear answer to my question about what happened to me - why my state of consciousness has changed for the better instead of being crushed by the turmoil. They have also shown me that such cases are not even rare.
This latest book of his focuses on this phenomenon of TTT on the basis of many personal storied he has collected from people who have undergone it. He is truly unique in that though he is a researcher in psychology, he doesn't shy away from his own experiences of spiritual awakenings and those of others in his books for the general public and academic articles for his colleagues.
When I read this book for the second time soon after my first reading, I focused on TTT and collected what he had to say about it. Here are some of them. I can related to them from the depth of my soul as they seem to describe so accurately and in detail what I myself have experienced in my TTT.
People who have experienced TTT feel a constant sense of well-being and a strong sense of connection to other people, to nature, and to the world as a whole. The world seems a fascinating and beautiful place to them. They are less materialistic and self-centered, more compassionate and altruistic. They have a strong sense of meaning and purpose and an intense sense of gratitude for everything in their lives, and for life itself.
Born-again religious experiences are usually conceptual experiences in which a person's belief system changes and they adopt a new lifestyle based on those beliefs. But TTT is nonconceptual. If anything, it is about letting go of beliefs rather than adopting them. TTT is a complete transformation of identity and being. This is probably why research shows that born-again religious experiences are usually temporary, whereas TTT is invariably permanent.
[T]his is what everyone who experiences TTT discovers: that what we think of as normal is an aberrational state that creates psychological suffering and presents us with a false vision of reality. Awakening gives us access to a fuller, higher-functioning state in which life seems easy and we feel at home in the world.
Essentially, TTT is about ego-dissolution. In situations of intense stress and turmoil, the ego-self may suddenly give way under the pressure, like a building that collapses in an earthquake. Or it may slowly fall away and eventually disappear through a process of detachment, as psychological attachments are broken down, like a building that collapses after enough individual bricks have been taken away. For some people, both these scenarios may simply lead to a psychological breakdown, but for a minority, the breakdown of the ego heralds a "shift up" to a higher spiritual state.
In TTT death and birth occur. There is the death of one identity and the birth of another: the death of the ego and its replacement by a latent, higher-functioning awakened self. The deceased ego carried the person's addiction to drugs or alcohol, whereas the new self that has been born has no addictions.
Although it sometimes occurs gradually, it is most common for TTT to occur instantaneously, as a sudden shift in identity. The person's old ego breaks down or dissolves away, and a new identity emerges to take its place. This new identity is completely different from the person's previous identity, so that the shifter often feels as if they are a different person living in the same body. Some superficial personality traits remain, and people retain the memories associated with their previous identity (even if they don't directly associate themselves with them). But the essence of their identity is completely different. Shifters have a new perception of the world, new values (such as becoming less materialistic and more altruistic), new kinds of relationships, a new relationship to time (i.e., they are more focused on the present and less oriented toward the past and future), and so on.
When TTT occurs, it's like a house suddenly collapsing (or in the case of gradual TTT, being dismantled slowly). But in TTT when an old house disappears, it doesn't just leave an empty plot of land. A new structure emerges in its place. If there was just an empty space of no-self, a person wouldn't be able to function in the world. Without psychological structures or a sense of identity, they would be unable to concentrate, to retain information, to make plans, to organize their lives, to hold conversations. If there really was "no one there" inside them, just an empty space of experience, they would be in a state of psychosis.
Whenever someone undergoes a spiritual awakening, the same type of new self-system emerges inside them, with common psychological structures and processes. It's as if the new house that arises in TTT is based on the same architectural plans and made from the same materials. This self-system features a continual freshness and vividness of perception of our surroundings, instead of an automatic, familiarized perception. It doesn't have boundaries or a strong central point of location, so that it feels a sense of connection to - and participation in - the world rather than a sense of separation. In addition, it doesn’t feature the constant chatter of an isolated and anxious ego-self. Thinking may still take place, but in a slower and quieter way, and without identification with thoughts. As a result, the self-system of wakefulness is a much more pleasant place to live than human beings' normal self-system.
In TTT the new self-system of wakefulness unfolds naturally, as if it has been latent inside the shifters, ready to emerge and waiting for the opportunity. It's almost as if this new self-system is latent within the human race collectively, waiting to emerge as the next stage in our development as a species.
[A] softer or more labile sense of ego, with thinner boundaries, makes a person more likely to experience TTT. To return to the house analogy, here it’s as if the house is made of softer, more pliable materials, such as wood or straw or soil, rather than stone or concrete.
In terms of attitude, the most important aspect of TTT is acceptance. When we go through challenges and suffering, we often go into a mode of resistance, such as when we talk about fighting a disease or struggling to overcome obstacles. But doing so blocks transformation. When we shift into a mode of acceptance - which can occur in the form of surrendering to a situation, letting go, or handing over our problems - then the transformational potential of suffering is released inside us.
Though I'm deeply grateful for this "divine grace", I also feel I've had to pay one heavy price - I've lost a common language so far with many of the people I was in touch with before my TTT, including those who were close to me either privately or professionally. I simply can't relate to many of the things they say or write, especially in social media, as these things seem to stem from their egos. I'm quite sure that this feeling must be mutual - they must be unable to understand what has become of me. Of course, this is in contradiction with teachings of spirituality I've been trying to embrace and incorporate. What I'm focusing on now is letting go of any expectation to be understood by others except by a small number of like-minded people.