I never imagined such a day would come. I have to leave Israel after Yom Kippur at the end of September in order to undertake some personal mission somewhere in the Diaspora. The temporary contract of this mission is for six and a half years until I reach the age of 67. I'd like to return to Israel then, but this contract may be prolonged.
For the past several months I tried everything imaginable to evade this, but I was left with no choice but to undertake this. So it chose me rather than the other way round.
I feel that I'm guided by some power that is far bigger than the force of my ego. When I tried to resist, nothing worked, but the moment I decided to flow with this power, everything flows so smoothly.
I also feel that in a sense my days are numbered here. But thanks to this feeling I'm discovering who and what are truly important to me. I have no time to lose for trifles.
I've never realized that Jerusalem is so dear to me. So I'm very sad that I have to leave it, at least temporally, hoping to return here eventually. But on the other hand, I already realize a huge potential for growing spiritually and making some contribution to society through what little wisdom I've acquired from my life experiences. So in overall terms my optimism and joy overshadow my sorrow.