From time to time I still find it difficult to digest the fact that I left Jerusalem at the end last September after living there for 19 consequtive years. This is my second "exile".
I left Jerusalem for the first time about 30 years before this in August 1993 after living there for five years as a PhD student at the Hebrew University. It took me about ten years to return there. In my first "exile" it was very difficult for me not only to digest this fact but also to live my daily life in another place. It took me two full years to start functioning more or less normally in the new society.
When I look back now at this first "exile", I wasn't living the present moment. Instead, I sacrificed it by waiting for a possible "redemption". It took me about 11 years to realize my dream of returning to Jerusalem in August 2004 to assume a position as a full-time lecturer in Hebrew linguistics at another Israeli university. I also acquired Israeli citizenship after a while.
The reason for the first and second "exiles" was more or less the same - money, or to be more precise, lack thereof. I had to leave Jerusalem both times in search of a new source of income elsewhere as I couldn't find any in Israel.
But the similarity ends here. I can relate to this second "exile" in a totally different state of consciousness, largely thanks to the fact that I studied Chassidus in Jerusalem. Its profound teachings give me not only a totally new perspective on life but also tools to cope with various life challenges.
Perhaps one of the most important diffences is that this time I can live the present moment without seeing it as a stepping stone for a possible "redempltion". So each moment can be a purpose in itself. This can fill my life in this new place with totally different, positive, energy unlike the first time.
Of course, I can't deny that I think of the second possible "redemption" from time to time, but most of the time I'm busy occupying myself with the fulfillment of two self-imposed missions - one private and the other public - which give me in turn both meaning and satisfaction though the daily challenges I face are not so easy.
Also concerning the possible "redemption" I expect, there is a fundamental difference. In my first "exile" I dreamed of returning to Jerusalem, but this time I'm thinking of a different city in a different country for financial and sociocultural reasons as well as for my spiritual growth, and this time I'm not sacrifising the present moment by dreaming too much and too often of this another beloved city of mine.