The Obstacle Is the Way

You must have heard that astronauts lose their muscles in outer space for lack of gravity. But I don't know how many of us have also heard that we lose our muscles on earth if we don't train them even though there is gravity. The common denominator is that the obstacle is the way, or physical resistance is necessary for maintaining and developing our physical muscles.

I stressed the word "physical" on purpose because I've learned the hard way that this principle applies not only to our physical muscles but also to our spiritual "muscles". In other words, the obstacle is the way not only physically but also spiritually.

This is why one of the sages I know often says that the biggest challenge in life for our spiritual growth is the lack of challenges. And this is also why I prefer being wished growth rather than success by others.

This is because I feel that "success", as in "I wish you success", often seems to connote a lack of resistance, which seems to imply that the obstacle is not the way. So what is the way that those who wish "success" to others and themselves typically seem to prefer? Perhaps remaining in their comfort zone their whole lives.

I not only start feeling uncomfortable after remaining in my comfort zone for a certain amount of time, but I even remove myself from it consciously in search of less comfort so that I can grow further, as I've already experienced that the obstacle is the way.

You may wonder whether I oppose any form of "success". Not at all! Enjoy it while you can ;-) as it's often a temporary state. I'm just careful not to turn it into the ultimate goal of my life.

You may also wonder what the most efficient way to face any obstacle is. Many of us are probably used to trying to overcome obstacles with as little friction as possible, which often leads us onto roundabout paths. As you can imagine, I used to think and behave this way until I encountered an amazing approach as part of my study of Chabad Chassidus.

It's embodied most typically in the famous teaching "לכתּחילה אַריבער" (lekhatkhile ariber). You face the challenge head-on from the very beginning as your first choice. It was precisely the counterintuitiveness of this teaching that first appealed to me. Then, once I stopped overthinking and started taking this approach, it worked amazingly well though it was not an easy path at all. Again, the obstacle is the way, and the most direct way to face it is chosen consciously.

PS: Let me share with you a link to a famous Chabad melody also called "לכתּחילה אַריבער" (lekhatkhile ariber), sung by an amazing Chabad singer named Benny Friedman. This melody has accompanied me for the past few years, especially every time I start to face an obstacle head-on.

PPS: I often present myself as an "astronaut" in that I'm often detached from "reality," that is, conventional sociocultural norms. But I refuse to be an astronaut who lets a lack of gravity cause him to lose his "muscles". In this respect, "reality" is also an obstacle in itself for me.

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Gospel of Muscle Training

It's paradoxical that "my" body was born prematurely and remained smaller than most others, yet I became aware of the importance of daily physical workouts. I've read many books on the subject by medical professionals as well as trainers and tried various physical workouts until I settled on three: bodyweight muscle training and running (ChiRunning) in the morning, and yoga (Iyengar Yoga) at night.

I continue these three to maintain the strength, stamina, and flexibility of "my" body. I've been asking myself which of the three is the most important though all of them are indispensable. Having continued to read various books by medical professionals, I've become more and more convinced that strength - and hence muscle training - is the most important for aging well.

If you are interested in learning the theory and practice of muscle training, I would highly recommend Forever Strong by Gabrielle Lyon and You Are Your Own Gym by Mark Lauren respectively. Of course, you are also more than welcome to contact me by email!

I've even become an "evangelist" of muscle training in general and bodyweight muscle training in particular, especially after seeing why a number of older people fall and become bedridden. The "gospel" I've started to share with others is fairly simple: Use them or lose them, but it's never too late to start using them again, or even for the first time. This can also be called the "gospel" of neuroplasticity.

I've also noticed that many people seem to have to change their mindset before they can start training their muscles. The two biggest mental obstacles I've identified so far are inertia and lack of self-discipline. I can't say that I myself had to cope with either of them in the beginning. But they, too, can be "rewired." Neuroplasticity applies to both the body and the mind.

As far as I'm concerned, what makes my daily "ritual" of three physical workouts, especially bodyweight muscle training, even "sacred" is, paradoxically, the awareness that I'm only borrowing this physical body so that the soul may accomplish its mission in this physical world. From this perspective, training "my" body is not a pastime but an obligation, just as I feel obliged to return a book I borrow from a public library in the best possible condition.

How the Collective Ego Keeps Us under Its Control

You must have heard of the ego, but you may not have heard of the collective ego. In very plain language - so don't quote me ;-) - the ego is a man's instinctive desire to preserve himself. I find it useful to think of collectives and even man-made systems as if they had an ego - a tendency to preserve themselves.

Every collective has its own, mostly unwritten, rules of conduct, including what is praised, accepted, avoided, and prohibited. These are actually rules of the collective ego of that collective.

As we grow, we learn these rules by watching and then imitating other, older members of a collective to which we are supposed to belong. And we belong to more than one collective at the national, regional, and other levels.

Having observed various collectives at various levels and various degrees of obedience to their rules by their respective members, I have the impression that a sufficiently large number of members of many collectives obey these rules, whether willingly or unwillingly.

I've come to identify one pair of very powerful means used by any collective to enforce these unwritten rules on its members. They are rewards and punishments. Unfortunately (when I was in the middle of the incident) and fortunately (after the fact), I experienced being ostracized by a collective called junior high school as a result of my refusal to obey one of its unwritten rules that made no sense to me.

You may wonder what "terrible" rule it was. I simply refused to obey the unwritten rule requiring every student to join one of the few sports clubs as part of the extracurricular activities. After this refusal, I was humiliated in public. I still remember how the other students as well as our teachers looked at me. Many years later, I visited the very place and found harvested onions instead of humans. ;-)

This experience in my young adulthood seems to have developed my sensitivity and immunity to the "tyranny" of the collective ego, until I came to consider myself a "professional outsider." ;-) Whatever collective I join or am made to join, I start to feel suffocated sooner or later and almost always end up leaving it consciously before I'm ostracized.

Ostracization is a rather extreme - but not necessarily uncommon - example of a punishment imposed upon those members of a collective who don't obey one or more of its most fundamental rules.

Rewards include recognition by other members of the collective and a good reputation among them, which sometimes leads to financial prosperity. So it seems quite natural that many people weigh rewards against punishments and conclude that obeying the rules is more beneficial than disobeying them, even when doing so may conflict with their values.

Of course, I fully understand this rationale and even admire them in a sense. But as for me, I've realized that I can't always deceive myself, especially when these rules fundamentally contradict my core values. I can't betray what I know to be true. When some friends of mine tell me I should have become a diplomat because I'm a polyglot, I quote this sentence of mine as my answer to them. ;-)