2018-01-05

Intolerance toward Intolerance

Though the private psychotherapy I took for my OCPD for about one year couldn't solve it, it started to deterriorate after I was forced to stop it about four months ago, until I had to renew my psychotherapy last week somewhere else (and even for free with my health insurance).

During this period I became even less intolerant, especially toward intolerance by other people. Recently I had to sever the connection I had had for about 25 years with two haredi friends here, who were among the closest people to me. Actually, this disconnection was mutual though our respective reasons for it were different - I for my intolerance toward their intolerance, and they for their intolerance of my opinions about quite fundamental issues in life that are completely different from their own.

The first issue was my determination not to have my own children. Naturally, they are agaist this. I can understand and respect their opinion, and have never tried to impose mine on them. So I expected them to reciprocate by showing me their understanding of and respect for my opinion. What I received from them instead were accusations and constant efforts to impose their opinion on me. Since I had already developed enough immunity to such narrow-minded coersion, I could simply ignore what they said and tried to do to me.

But something fundamental lying behind their accusations against me after I raised another no less important life-changing issue was simply more than enough to put an end to this long friendship. What bothered me more than anything else is neither the very difference of our opinions nor the way they accused me but the very fact that they categorically rejected my opinion about the issue they are ignorant of according to their superstitious belief about it. I was also quite disappointed to find that even they, whom I consider the intellectual crème de la crème of the haredi society here, dare to try to impose their opinion about this issue on me without taking the trouble of reading about and studying it at all first.

Every loss is painful, especially of such long friendship, but if maitaining it must entail my unconditional tolerance toward their narrow-minded intolerance, I had no choice but to prefer my intolerance toward their intolerance.