These days I've starting saying "kaddish" symbolically to something that used to be very precious to me. It started to die inside me a few months ago, but in retrospect it must have been dying for a long time in the eyes of those who see the reality more objectively. I was simply unaware how serious its sickness had been until rather recently. But now I can't fail to notice it, nor can I deny it.
I still have a hard time accepting this death as it forces me to totally replan the rest of my life accordingly. One thing seems certain, at least as of now. I can't and don't want to continue as if it were still alive for me though it may still look alive to those who have a blind faith in it.