On my second last day before leaving Jerusalem at the end of last September I went to see one Chabad rabbi who seems to be known worldwide, at least among Chabadniks, as a kabbalist who can read the souls of others.
Leaving Jerusalem for the place I live in now means, among others, that I have to sacrifice one important personal mission to achieve another, no less important, one. I wanted to ask for his advice about this first mission, that is, how to reconcile these two mutually exclusive missions.
I only told him very briefly about this dilemma of mine to give me invaluable advice, which still continues to resonate with me and give me hope. Like many other people who flock to him from all over the world for his advice, I only had a few minutes with him. But he advised me where to go after I've become ready.
The country he advised me to move to for the above mentioned first mission includes the city I had been thinking of - rather vaguely until then - as the next possible - and probably the last - station in life.
Actually, I even visited this second most favorite city of mine after Jerusalem last July before I made a final decision to leave for the present place. On the one hand, I fell in love with it anew, but on the other hand, I felt I wasn't ready yet to live there for a couple of technical reasons. Anyway, I was so sorry that I had to leave it.
Please don't get me wrong. I love and miss Jerusalem and all it offered me, especially in terms of Chabad Chassidus. But I also feel that I want to - or even have to - try something new I've never experienced for my continued growth.
The only worry I have is that I may be idealizing this country in general and this city in particular. After all, I visited it several times only as a tourist. But the fact remains that the mere thought of living there fills me with enormous joy. I've also found there a Chabad community that seems to fit me. Recently I even found out that one Chabadnik I made friends with there happens to daven in this very community!
In the meanwhile I try to live the present moment, focusing on one important personal mission because of which I came here (and will have to stay here at least until 2030).